Benjin Lin
Single
18
You dont need to know what he WANTS
You dont need to know what he DONT WANT
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21december 2009 8.03pm
Packed the entire room of mines. Supper rubbish. Threw alot of stuffs away. Was rather tired to hardcore everything in a day.
I was climbing on my shelves and a chair, to reach to the wardrobe. Beside was my bike. And and. There's goes a loud thump thump thump. I fell. My knee injuried. My mum rush in, and ask me wad happen. I told her " I fell from the top" She was like , u ok ma , ok ma? My mum so nice hor. Haha Den when she want go out that time , she said " Jin ah , u so clumsly ah "
Mummmyyyyyyyyy ! Nice to me one moment also cant ah. Hurt me sia.
And my mum calls me Hei Ren Yao Gao. Becos I am super tanned, or rather " hei" She says I am like those africa ppl. Lols.
Precious baby xinman! Must gambateh for later performance wor. Haha. No matter wad, your cute papa , will be supporting u . *Take this opportunity to praise myself cute* Haha.
Mama recently like bian shou le. Hmm, tml meet her that time , mus prepared a big fat pork and stuff it into mama's mouth. Haha. Yayies, tml can see mama alrdy. Love mama forever , deep in my heart.
20 more days to our Happy 1 YEAR anniversary ! I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !
12 December 2009 Sunny saturday 2 days without her.
11 December 2009
Cold Friday2 days without her.
It has been two day since we are separated. I still cant get used to the kind of life without her in my life.The memories still lies deeply in my mind , and in my heart.I cant forget about her.But I do want and trying to forget her.The more I think of her, the more my heart ache.No one would understand the love I put in , in this relationship.Althought I might have given you nothing much in this relationship,But I can tell you that , a sincere heart is all I have given you so far.I felt my days covered with dim stars that do not shine.It is just like a star losing its usual bright glow .I noe I need you, I noe I love you.I knew that I cant bear to let u go.I do not want to let go of your hand , which I have been holding tight for the pass 11 months. But I would control myself not to love you again.I am afraid that I would leave wounds deep in your heart again.It hurts me more to see you in pain.I am wondering why,Sometimes it is hard to say no when I really mean yes.And why,Sometimes it is hard to say that I want to be just your fren when I really want to be her boyfren.And why,Sometimes, it is hard to forget when I really can’t .And sometimes, the hardest is to let go of you when I really want you to stay by my side.It do really hurts to say goodbye to a person you love, knowing that life would not be the same without her anymore.No matter how hurt I am to get over the facts for years or for life,I told myself that as long as you are happy, I can get through this.I find that no matter how loud I laugh, I am still not happy. And no matter how hard I cry, the sadness inside grows. I feel empty. I do not need any jokes to make me smile .I just need you to love me for all the pain to go.After I have lost you , after we are separated, and after everything that have happen,I realised that it is hard not to love you, it is hard not to care and it is hard to live without you.
10 December 2009Sunny thursday1 day without her. It has been a day since we are separated. Thousand or rather endless tots raced passed my mind.Be it a positive or a negative tot.They are crowding around my whole mind and I do wish to stop them from hindering the decision that I made.I know that everything would not be the same anymore.I tried to pretent that what happen last night was just a terrible nitemare that I have ever dreamt of.But sadly , it's not.I should wake up from reality and face up to the facts.I'm sorry for crying over you,because I said I wouldn't.But I didn't promise you that,because I knew it would be a promise,I would never be able to keep.I am in a dilemma.I dunnoe whether there are chances or even little hope for the both of us to show one another what love is about, to play , to joke around, or even get to speak to her like before. I do not have the courage to think about what the outcome or what the answer is going to be.I am afraid.Afraid that it would be another nitemare that would turns everything so true.I felt sad. I felt dead when she said that she do not want to marry such a person like me.How am I going to start all over again to win her heart back, to make her fall in love again?How am I?
I am worried.
Worried that you have not reach home, worry that you did not take your dinner.
I picked up my hp several times, wanting to call you.
But I didnt, I put it back.
Becos I noe that I got no rights to interfere with your affairs anymore.
I don't know what to do now that we're apart.
I don't know how to live without the other half of my heart.
The part that hurts me the most,is knowing that I once had you and then lost you.
This is the biggest wound that I ever had.
I do not wish for anything much. I just hope that when she is feeling sad or happy, she would think of me.When she is happy, I hope to be the first person, she would share her joy with.When she is sad, I am willing to lent a listening ear and make her smile back.All I wanted is, to see you smile, to see that you are happy. No matter what happens, I would promise to be the guardian angel that guides you through.I promised.
Tuesday- Ytd was learning how to make the Html things for my lessons.Pretty enjoyed the lessons , although it was stressful.What a miracle ! I did pay attention throughout the whole lesson.Wednesday-Today was having marketing lessons.Did presentation.Teacher praise my group, and I was like " Aiya, I do de leh"Everyone heard it and laugh sia.Lols.I didnt realise i spoke too loud.Haha.Today was english exams, it was quite hard, and I managed to write the last ans with only 13 seconds left.Haha.Later got to revise for my friday marketing exams.Cant fail again. 1 more mark to pass.Sobs. I am waiting for my precious to online.Super slow de she.Walao , unlike me.Haha.Old granny Xinmannnnnnnnnnnnnn.
 I am an one-eyed guy.
Haha. random.
I should be revising now. Nid to study hard to support my baby for a living when 2020 arrives. (This is my motivation to study hard) A grand, wonderful & romantic wedding for you ok. I promise.
Today was an un-blued monday. Becos everything was quite ok.
EnCi was back from thailand. And bought for the few of us an elephant keychain. I choose an elephant with a mixture of Brown and green. And EnCi came hugging me when i enter the class. I was like Yoyo, Ni hui lai le ~ Den the both of us acting like some kind of gay partners. Tina was like " O.O " Haha. Maths presentation was quite ok. Cher was asking lots of question from the another grp. When it reach my turn, I presented. And cher didnt ask mi any qn. So I said " Hmm, teacher , do you have any questions to ask me? " Teacher was like" Nope, gd gd, well-presented" Haha. Roles switched.
My dad going overseas this thursday for business trip. I got to go to sch myself. Lazy. My mum bought me a levis boxer. Random.
Few more hours, and I am able to see the dumb pie up there. Haha, and I cant wait for that few hours. Too miss you, my dear. I noe you be arm-chio-ing when you see this post, becos i miss u rite , riteeeeeeeeeeeee ! No smile / laugh also mus gen wo smile/laugh !!!
Days without you beside me, are like a decade without you. I love you.
Today was a fine sunday. Weather was hmm Great? Haha. I went to my aunt home as usual , and did the same thing. And it is to be a baby nanny. Sobs. My precious weekend is spent tgt with my child - Javier.I think i can be a great daddy ^^Becos I noe how how to pamper kids,and most of all , I noe how to talk baby language.Haha. We are Great brotherrrrrrrr huh huh.
 Cam adjusted. Finally can see me.
I hope TWO days can pass as quickly as possible. Just like the Mrt speeding off to the next station. Oo XinMan , you are responsible for causing me to be sick. LoveSICK I meant. Hehe.
 Guess who is this girl lying on my lap?She is Xinman's rival wor. Xinman ,faster come back to Sg and fight fight fight wit her.Haha. Tricks.Going to revise for my exams on wednesday.Missing my lady now.
My precious lady, maintaining her smile .
*(in fact she is scolding someone on phone.)
Haha.
Mama will return to Sg in 3 more long long long days.
Life without you by my side, is tough.
It is like a tree without its roots to support it firm to the ground.
I miss your smile.
I miss your laughter.
I miss your actions.
I miss everything that have a U in it.
Last of all , I love you.
4 days without Mama.
She went to indonesia and abandon me.
Haha. She might kill me , if she see the word ADANDON.
Haha.
Faster come back and be your singapore mei lah.
Miss you super much you know.
No one else in the world can ever compare and win you,
You're perfect and so is this love that we share.
We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I promise to give you all I can give.
I love you more than I ever thought I could.
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21december 2009 8.03pm
Packed the entire room of mines. Supper rubbish. Threw alot of stuffs away. Was rather tired to hardcore everything in a day.
I was climbing on my shelves and a chair, to reach to the wardrobe. Beside was my bike. And and. There's goes a loud thump thump thump. I fell. My knee injuried. My mum rush in, and ask me wad happen. I told her " I fell from the top" She was like , u ok ma , ok ma? My mum so nice hor. Haha Den when she want go out that time , she said " Jin ah , u so clumsly ah "
Mummmyyyyyyyyy ! Nice to me one moment also cant ah. Hurt me sia.
And my mum calls me Hei Ren Yao Gao. Becos I am super tanned, or rather " hei" She says I am like those africa ppl. Lols.
Precious baby xinman! Must gambateh for later performance wor. Haha. No matter wad, your cute papa , will be supporting u . *Take this opportunity to praise myself cute* Haha.
Mama recently like bian shou le. Hmm, tml meet her that time , mus prepared a big fat pork and stuff it into mama's mouth. Haha. Yayies, tml can see mama alrdy. Love mama forever , deep in my heart.
20 more days to our Happy 1 YEAR anniversary ! I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !
12 December 2009 Sunny saturday 2 days without her.
11 December 2009
Cold Friday2 days without her.
It has been two day since we are separated. I still cant get used to the kind of life without her in my life.The memories still lies deeply in my mind , and in my heart.I cant forget about her.But I do want and trying to forget her.The more I think of her, the more my heart ache.No one would understand the love I put in , in this relationship.Althought I might have given you nothing much in this relationship,But I can tell you that , a sincere heart is all I have given you so far.I felt my days covered with dim stars that do not shine.It is just like a star losing its usual bright glow .I noe I need you, I noe I love you.I knew that I cant bear to let u go.I do not want to let go of your hand , which I have been holding tight for the pass 11 months. But I would control myself not to love you again.I am afraid that I would leave wounds deep in your heart again.It hurts me more to see you in pain.I am wondering why,Sometimes it is hard to say no when I really mean yes.And why,Sometimes it is hard to say that I want to be just your fren when I really want to be her boyfren.And why,Sometimes, it is hard to forget when I really can’t .And sometimes, the hardest is to let go of you when I really want you to stay by my side.It do really hurts to say goodbye to a person you love, knowing that life would not be the same without her anymore.No matter how hurt I am to get over the facts for years or for life,I told myself that as long as you are happy, I can get through this.I find that no matter how loud I laugh, I am still not happy. And no matter how hard I cry, the sadness inside grows. I feel empty. I do not need any jokes to make me smile .I just need you to love me for all the pain to go.After I have lost you , after we are separated, and after everything that have happen,I realised that it is hard not to love you, it is hard not to care and it is hard to live without you.
10 December 2009Sunny thursday1 day without her. It has been a day since we are separated. Thousand or rather endless tots raced passed my mind.Be it a positive or a negative tot.They are crowding around my whole mind and I do wish to stop them from hindering the decision that I made.I know that everything would not be the same anymore.I tried to pretent that what happen last night was just a terrible nitemare that I have ever dreamt of.But sadly , it's not.I should wake up from reality and face up to the facts.I'm sorry for crying over you,because I said I wouldn't.But I didn't promise you that,because I knew it would be a promise,I would never be able to keep.I am in a dilemma.I dunnoe whether there are chances or even little hope for the both of us to show one another what love is about, to play , to joke around, or even get to speak to her like before. I do not have the courage to think about what the outcome or what the answer is going to be.I am afraid.Afraid that it would be another nitemare that would turns everything so true.I felt sad. I felt dead when she said that she do not want to marry such a person like me.How am I going to start all over again to win her heart back, to make her fall in love again?How am I?
I am worried.
Worried that you have not reach home, worry that you did not take your dinner.
I picked up my hp several times, wanting to call you.
But I didnt, I put it back.
Becos I noe that I got no rights to interfere with your affairs anymore.
I don't know what to do now that we're apart.
I don't know how to live without the other half of my heart.
The part that hurts me the most,is knowing that I once had you and then lost you.
This is the biggest wound that I ever had.
I do not wish for anything much. I just hope that when she is feeling sad or happy, she would think of me.When she is happy, I hope to be the first person, she would share her joy with.When she is sad, I am willing to lent a listening ear and make her smile back.All I wanted is, to see you smile, to see that you are happy. No matter what happens, I would promise to be the guardian angel that guides you through.I promised.
Tuesday- Ytd was learning how to make the Html things for my lessons.Pretty enjoyed the lessons , although it was stressful.What a miracle ! I did pay attention throughout the whole lesson.Wednesday-Today was having marketing lessons.Did presentation.Teacher praise my group, and I was like " Aiya, I do de leh"Everyone heard it and laugh sia.Lols.I didnt realise i spoke too loud.Haha.Today was english exams, it was quite hard, and I managed to write the last ans with only 13 seconds left.Haha.Later got to revise for my friday marketing exams.Cant fail again. 1 more mark to pass.Sobs. I am waiting for my precious to online.Super slow de she.Walao , unlike me.Haha.Old granny Xinmannnnnnnnnnnnnn.
I am an one-eyed guy.
Haha. random.
I should be revising now. Nid to study hard to support my baby for a living when 2020 arrives. (This is my motivation to study hard) A grand, wonderful & romantic wedding for you ok. I promise.
Today was an un-blued monday. Becos everything was quite ok.
EnCi was back from thailand. And bought for the few of us an elephant keychain. I choose an elephant with a mixture of Brown and green. And EnCi came hugging me when i enter the class. I was like Yoyo, Ni hui lai le ~ Den the both of us acting like some kind of gay partners. Tina was like " O.O " Haha. Maths presentation was quite ok. Cher was asking lots of question from the another grp. When it reach my turn, I presented. And cher didnt ask mi any qn. So I said " Hmm, teacher , do you have any questions to ask me? " Teacher was like" Nope, gd gd, well-presented" Haha. Roles switched.
My dad going overseas this thursday for business trip. I got to go to sch myself. Lazy. My mum bought me a levis boxer. Random.
Few more hours, and I am able to see the dumb pie up there. Haha, and I cant wait for that few hours. Too miss you, my dear. I noe you be arm-chio-ing when you see this post, becos i miss u rite , riteeeeeeeeeeeee ! No smile / laugh also mus gen wo smile/laugh !!!
Days without you beside me, are like a decade without you. I love you.
Today was a fine sunday. Weather was hmm Great? Haha. I went to my aunt home as usual , and did the same thing. And it is to be a baby nanny. Sobs. My precious weekend is spent tgt with my child - Javier.I think i can be a great daddy ^^Becos I noe how how to pamper kids,and most of all , I noe how to talk baby language.Haha.We are Great brotherrrrrrrr huh huh.
Cam adjusted. Finally can see me.
I hope TWO days can pass as quickly as possible. Just like the Mrt speeding off to the next station. Oo XinMan , you are responsible for causing me to be sick. LoveSICK I meant. Hehe.
Guess who is this girl lying on my lap?She is Xinman's rival wor. Xinman ,faster come back to Sg and fight fight fight wit her.Haha. Tricks.Going to revise for my exams on wednesday.Missing my lady now.
My precious lady, maintaining her smile .
*(in fact she is scolding someone on phone.)
Haha.
Mama will return to Sg in 3 more long long long days.
Life without you by my side, is tough.
It is like a tree without its roots to support it firm to the ground.
I miss your smile.
I miss your laughter.
I miss your actions.
I miss everything that have a U in it.
Last of all , I love you.
4 days without Mama.
She went to indonesia and abandon me.
Haha. She might kill me , if she see the word ADANDON.
Haha.
Faster come back and be your singapore mei lah.
Miss you super much you know.
No one else in the world can ever compare and win you,
You're perfect and so is this love that we share.
We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I promise to give you all I can give.
I love you more than I ever thought I could.
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